Happy New Year! To ring in 2017, I decided to share an anecdote from my journey thus far.
A few years ago, I was immersed in creating projects I cared deeply about. I spent years reading countless screenplays, optioning the diamonds in the rough, and working around the clock to get them produced. I was about to shoot what I considered to be inspiring, incredible, career-making films.
And then I walked away.
It was one of the most difficult and painful things I have ever had to do. I had LIVED for these films. I made countless sacrifices over several years so that I could bring these films to fruition. At times, they were the only things that kept me motivated to keep trudging through unfortunate circumstances. But therein lay the problem; I was sacrificing too much to continue working on the projects and staying in an unhealthy environment. The situation I found myself in was just too toxic.
I had to learn the incredibly difficult lesson of knowing when to walk away.
It’s hard to be a dreamer… to want something so badly you think you would do anything to achieve it. I am the perfect example. I’m the overachiever perfectionist who often found herself staying up all night to practice rather than tasting the many joys that life had to offer. I spent years digging a hole towards my goals… that hole got so deep, that it felt too overwhelming to try to climb out of; I might as well keep digging until I emerge out the other side.
However, if the journey you find yourself on is making you feel more lost and hopeless than ever, then maybe it’s time to crawl out of that hole, no matter how deep, and start anew, brushing the dirt off your shoulders.
“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.”
After I left my projects behind, I took a new fork in the road and started anew. It’s hard to look back at years of hard work feel like you have nothing to show for it, but that’s simply not true. I learned. I learned and grew SO much from that experience. I feel that it added new dimensions to my being so that I may be an even more effective storyteller, and there’s immense value in that.
So what have I been up to since? I’ve been busy transitioning into my next chapter, building a fulfilling life, and creating a strong foundation to accomplish my goals. I finished my Bachelors Degree in Music, I’ve been traveling and cultivating friendships, and I made Austin, TX the new home base for my indie film productions. I even dyed my hair pink, because I stopped worrying about keeping a neutral appearance to fit every role! It’s just hair… I can always dye it again.
My dreams haven’t changed, but my approach has. I’m gearing up to produce new projects, but this time, I’m striving for balance. My career is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s important to enjoy the process and be able to sustain it long-term rather than to push through miserably and hold out for an end result that may never come. Success isn’t an end result… it’s a mindset. And if I think about it, I really truly am successful in so many ways.
“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”
May 2017 bring you joy and success.